A Self Portrait

Artists : Lyndsay Diaries, The : A Self Portrait

today the sun burned away at my face and i just let it burn. another angel turned her back on me. she folded her wings and hung her head. God you gave me this heart. but i was wondering if i could trade it in. i wail and i weep for i cannot sleep for i stare at the ghosts of my own design. driving past the quiet steeples in the night. i harbor the tears in my eyes and wonder of the day this came upon me. she thinks she is hearing sounds in the night and i am fighing just to sleep. and i wail and i weep. the bells will ring in the steeple in the morning. and i'm just now trying to find myself. singing the words to create acceptance were never my good intentions. and now i've only a house full of regrets. shatter the glass of my eye and i will come to see the blinding darkness. and i've lost sight of all that is real. for i sit here alone. i write a novel of my own. and there are no happy endings in this tragedy. sometimes i am almost content in my sorrow. and it makes my eyelids hang low. my ship is sailing to the seas. so wave and blow your kisses. 'cause i'm not sure i'll be home anytime soon. i've set out to fail the world. i've set out to fail myself. i will dream the dreamer's lie that everything is okay. when everything isn't okay. he says that my burden is also his but i don't want to put this on him. stare up at steeples lost in the night. i find that i'm lost. and now i've only a house full of regrets. and as the wind blows, it takes with it all the memories. and as the breeze blows, i turn my eyes to the skies and hope for hope that this will soon come to pass.