My First Time

Artists : Dark Lotus : My First Time

the first time i didn't even feel guilty
never washed off, stayed bloody and filthy
just laid there to the next kid all night
kinda soakin it all in and feelin alright
i wasn't even old enough to drive yet, it was hell
i hadda put em on my handle bars
and dump em down a well
i tried to feed off of that till i couldn't anymore
by my 16th birthday my total had grown to 4

i aint afraid of you but be afraid of me
cause when the lights go down
there aint no stopping me
memories of my first real killin
they found her all tied up
just hangin from the ceiling
what i was feeling was just so dark and twiztid
i couldn't believe i just did this
now i'm stuck in my very own private hell
will i ever do it again, time will tell

my first time
i was in control until the blood
it was my first time
the bloody mess i had to clean up
it was my first time
i know this aint right
it was my first time
i finally took someone else's life

every time i lay my ass down to sleep
i pray to fall these memories seize
bloody face and final breaths taken
with the first uh, what was i thinkin?
just a peice of rope and a pair of hands
i was a man but she kept talkin man
suffocation through the not breathing
i choked her for the very first time
for no reason

it was 11 on my clock
i remember that much
in the graveyard waitin
for the dope man to show up
10 minutes pass and there's still no sign
just then off in the night i see some headlights
a car rolls by drivin slow and i don't know
i thought it was my folk, i aint pulled a 44
they stopped the ride, started blastin
the first time i didn't pull the heat
damn, this what happened

my first time
i was in control until the blood
it was my first time
the bloody mess i had to clean up
it was my first time
i know this aint right
it was my first time
i finally took someone else's life

first time my knife touched skin
and the red blood started
flowin so quick i just couldn't quit
kept stabbin till everything that i seen was red
the pillow, the blankets, the walls, and even the bed
one thing dominating everything
like contemporary art
am i the killer or artist with bloody heart?
then i curled into a ball in the corner of the room
feelin like a creep in the light of the moon

if i took this gun and put a hole in your chest
it won't compare to the first time
i put someone to rest
kinda like the dream but
on the nightmare level
every time i think about it
i can still hear the shovel
diggin deep into the dirt
to try and hide then pain
knowin i got away with something
i'll regret in the end
i really shoulda never done it
but fuck it, i did him in
the first person that i killed
was my first best friend

my first time
i was in control until the blood
it was my first time
the bloody mess i had to clean up
it was my first time
i know this aint right
it was my first time
i finally took someone else's life